


Carnal

by YsaX64



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/M, Masturbation, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:26:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22342543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YsaX64/pseuds/YsaX64
Summary: He knew it was base, he knew he was weak and he knew he couldn't resist it.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/Hubert von Vestra
Comments: 5
Kudos: 102





	Carnal

**Author's Note:**

> sometimes. sometimes things just happen. This is nothing but sin and Hubert would agree with me.

Hubert should have taken a colder bath.

Scratch that, he should have just filled the tub with snow. Maybe that would have avoided the  _ uncomfortable _ situation he was in. He shifted in bed, trying to find a position in which he wasn't so painfully aware of his own arousal. Laying on his side, his thighs and even the sheets would rub all the wrong spots. On his stomach, the very pressure of his body against the mattress made him stifle a groan. 

How pathetic.

All that was left for him was lay on his back, in such a way that he could see the contours, the tell-tale sign of his shame. Of course, he could wait so exhaustion would carry him to sleep regardless of the situation between his legs and the thoughts behind it.

It would be uncomfortable, but bearable. The simplest solution indeed. Physical discipline had been on his side for years. He'd lost count of how many times he'd had to fight with an arrow stuck on his shoulder or his side. To endure a few minutes of sensitiveness and discomfort shouldn't have been a tall task. 

Still, there was a problem that was impossible to ignore: the reason for that whole situation had a name.

No, not only a name but a face, a voice, a touch–

And he had to stop thinking about it lest he went mad. Yes, he had to purge those thoughts out of his mind. Hubert couldn't think about it, not when he was dressed in nothing but loose clothes that felt so stifling, not when it was late at night and his resolve wavered so easily. Not when there was no one but himself to judge the disgraceful sins that he was so close to committing. 

A grunt escaped his lips as he shut his eyes, as if trying to force his body to sleep. If it just was that easy! Then he wouldn't have to endure the memory of how her hesitant touch felt or how her breasts pressed against his chest as she embraced him–

"Fuck."

The uncouth word escaped his lips before he could control it, filthy and dirty, but so was Hubert's mind at that moment and there was no one to hear him. Who cared? Not the type of word he would ever use in polite company but, then again, it wasn't like he was disgracing himself any further, not when his mind already dragged him in the mud by having such sullied thoughts of her already.

He shook his head and brusquely set the sheets aside. Well, if his body refused to fall asleep by itself, then there was other options. Hubert could deal with it quickly, discreetly and easily. It felt base, but it was all that he had left. He pulled down his trousers and unceremoniously gripped the base of his cock, methodical and indifferent.

His body immediately relaxed in relief as he started pumping. Swollen and tingling, Hubert forced himself to close his eyes and focus on the sensation itself. The rub of skin against skin, the blood rushing with the pursuit of pleasure, the way his muscles tensed and relaxed.

If he could just end it, come in his hands and make it quick, then it would all be over and he could forget he'd had such sinful thoughts.

The sensation rose. Just a quick relief for his tension. It was a dull crescendo, a song he had heard in a few sleepless nights when the tautness of his muscles refused to leave. His breath quickened, the heat rushing under his skin.

His movements became less coordinated, more erratic. His mind struggled to focus solely on the pleasure, but he could not let his mind stray. However, trying to not think about the forbidden fruit is the same as inviting your mind to take a bite. His thoughts started to wander, floating between isles of disconnected sensations. 

A whiff of perfume, a violet ribbon, a lock of white hair.

He bit his bottom lip, fierce enough so that the dull tang of iron invaded his mouth, but still a small gasp echoed in the room, betraying his rising pleasure. He tried to dispel the traitorous thoughts and every nerve of his body was about to light up, he was close, he was so painfully close–

_ "Edelgard–" _

Hubert reacted like he had been burned. He withdrew his hand. His whole body trembled, tensing in protest. He opened his eyes, half-expecting to see his clothes stained with his own semen, the orgasm dull and unpleasant. But no, he was still teetering at the edge of the abyss, so close yet so far.

Very well. If that was how it was meant to be, then so be it. He pulled up his trousers, trying to adjust himself under the sheets once more as he ignored his body's sensitive protests. That was it. He would sleep with the discomfort until it passed, cursing his weakness for even thinking about the horrid idea of touching himself like that. 

He couldn't think of her like that. Not even in the silent solitude of his own room, he couldn't even if it meant that he wouldn't sleep at all no matter how tired he was. And, for a few minutes, he managed to stay true to this promise to himself.

Staring at an unfocused point of the ceiling, time passed slowly until the impossible heat and tightness between his legs subsided, even if just a little, enough so that his mind wasn't clouded anymore.

Still, as sleep wouldn't come easily for him, it merely gave place to other thoughts, as his mind wandered back to the events that led to that disgraceful situation.

* * *

The news of Edelgard's triumph over the Church of Seiros and the subsequent annexation of what was left of Faerghus must have already reached Lord Arundel's– no, Thales's ears. The rats that called themselves his minions scurried quickly and whispered all sorts of whiny rumors to their master, almost as if they communicated through the wind itself. 

Hubert tapped a finger on the maps before him, the candles casting shadows over the territory that now was Edelgard's domain. He had instructed Ferdinand, who was helping in Fhirdiad, and Byleth, who was back at Garreg Mach, to report back to him if they noticed anything unusual. However, Hubert's instincts knew that it would be a cold trail.

Yes, indeed, Thales's minions were all aware that Edelgard was going to point her weapons at them. In such circumstances, they must have scurried back to wherever they hid. Perhaps Hubert would have to turn his attention to cold cases, like the situation in Ordelia and Hrym–

_ Knock, knock, knock. _

As if someone had cast a thunder spell on him, Hubert jolted off the chair, his right hand finding the hidden knife on his belt. As quickly as it had appeared, the surprise wore off, giving space to confusion.

The highest floor of the Imperial Palace, where his and Edelgard's quarters and offices were, had no guards, a personal request of Edelgard herself.

If it was some sort of invasion, they wouldn't have knocked. An emergency? No, otherwise he would have already heard another, more urgent knock. Still, that only left one option.

Tilting his head to the side, Hubert opened the door and, as he expected, there she was.

Dressed in nothing but her nightclothes, there stood Edelgard. Her chin was tilted up, eyes staring right back at him, regal violet exuding that aura of confidence that followed her wherever she went. Still, he could see her tiredness in the way her shoulders were slumped, her foot tapping on the floor.

"Your Majesty," he whispered and Hubert had to wonder when he ended up so breathless. "Why are awake this late?"

Her lips curled up, but it was a dry smile, one that would have belied her exhaustion had he not seen through her façade before. 

"I could mirror the same question to you."

Avoiding his question with one of her own. An easy defense, but one that had its merits. 

"My affairs demand that I stay up late, as you know."

She shrugged and walked right in his office unceremoniously. Hubert closed the door, but his eyes never left hers. Even in the low light, she was stunning. The word came to his mind easily as he watched the way her hips swayed with every step and the cascade of white hair – he was so used to seeing it combed in that crown of horns and burden, how rare it was to see it free! – down her back.

Hubert knew he was staring, but she had her back turned to him and no amount of decency was enough to rein in his awe as his tired mind couldn't help but focus on her in wonder–

And he could not let his thoughts stray like that. 

"I take that you are working."

She had turned to his desk, where maps and papers were still neatly organized so that he could continue to track down the rats in the dark. 

"Yes. I have made little progress since our arrival in Enbarr, but I believe that I should work while there are still clues to be followed."

Not many clues and more like dead-ends, but it was the truth. It didn't convince her, though, as she touched the map, her fingers lingering near Garreg Mach for just a second too long.

"Still, Hubert," she said, voice even. It was at that moment that Hubert knew that she wouldn't relent until he was tucked in bed fast asleep. "Wouldn't it be for the best if you were asleep right now so you could work better tomorrow?"

His lips curled up in a smirk. He had said similar words to her before and it hadn't worked. So, for some reason, she thought it would work with him? Strange indeed.

Hubert stepped closer, always submitted to her presence, but standing his ground.

"If you but give me the order, I will go in an instant."

A reasonable compromise. And, as he expected, her face twisted in a dainty sneer.

"We both know that I would rather not use my authority over you. Especially regarding matters that are not about the Emperor and the Minister, but about two friends."

Her words flared a spark of emotion in his chest, but his expression betrayed nothing.

"If we are talking as two friends right now, then I must ask, why are you awake? I gave you my reason already."

This time, her eyes averted to the floor, her expression resembling so much the girl who had waged war against the Church of Seiros and who had risen to the title of Emperor five, almost six years prior. Resolute but full of pain that he couldn't describe. A burden he would take for himself if he could, but that it was hers alone.

"It's nothing new," she dismissed with a wave. "I simply can't sleep. I suppose I should be grateful that it isn't a nightmare at this point."

Hubert said nothing. He was all too aware that, as much as he would gladly spend nights with no rest chasing down the monsters of flesh and blood that had tormented her, he could do nothing about the monsters inside her mind.

"Is that what brings you to my office, then?"

Stepping away from the uncomfortable subject. A coward's tactic or a strategic retreat? Even Hubert couldn't tell. Still, if Edelgard noticed, then she still politely took the bait.

"No, I was merely wandering the halls." Hubert suspected that was the true reason why she had prohibited any guards on the highest floor during the night. So she could quietly wander during her moments of weakness. "I saw a light under the door, so I admit that I was quite a bit surprised to see you working so soon."

So soon after they won the war, he could hear it in her voice. Contrary to his own better judgment, Hubert took a step closer, standing next to her. It was such a stark contrast, as he'd stayed in his usual dark garbs and she was there, beautiful and radiant even as tired as she was.

"As I have said before, your war may be over, but House Vestra's has only begun. There is still much to be done."

Her eyes found his and, for a moment, he could see a flicker of emotion in her trembling features.

"Still…" She trailed off and he knew she was about to put up the same defenses. Her unending stubbornness and his perpetual patience. Had she decided to lock horns with him, they could have stayed there until the sun was up. Yet she relented. 

It took him by surprise as well and he stood there for a second dumbfounded. As if that wasn't enough, she took one step closer. Their bodies were almost touching but not quite. His eyes widened. She radiated warmth in a way that felt inappropriate to even look at her too closely. Perhaps if he was a knight in shining armor, who valued honor above all, he would have looked away.

But he couldn't, not when her lips were parted so invitingly, not when he wanted to hide under her skirt and escape from the rest of the world. Perhaps part of him still wanted to scream "Duty!", pull him away from her and purge the filthy thoughts from his mind. 

If there was such a part of him at all or not, it didn't matter in the end, because even that part would have crumbled just as easily as the rest of him when she hooked her arms around his chest, pulling him in a hug.

He instantly stiffened. It wasn't like there was a rigid rule that they could not touch each other. They had done so before, particularly in dire situations. Still, just because he  _ could _ , it didn't mean he wouldn't feel his body warming all over as she buried her face in his neck, her breasts pressed against his chest in a way that he couldn't ignore, her hands clutching to the fabric of his clothes–

_ Think, you fool, think! _

His brain failed him as his arms stayed at his side uselessly. Until Hubert finally found it in himself to reciprocate the hug, one of his arms pulling her closer – there was no time to think about the soft gasp she let out or her hot breath tickling his neck – and his other hand settling awkwardly in the small of her back. 

Oh, what a mistake it was. His hand fit so well there and, in his position, he had ample vision of her hair, her back and lower still–

He blinked rapidly, his posture tense. That was too much, too much indeed. His eyes darted back to the wall, avoiding the thoughts that inevitably emerged from the depths of his mind.

Perhaps she sensed his tension right away and maybe she misinterpreted it, maybe she interpreted it exactly as it was, but regardless she slid away from him. Her eyes were cast downwards but the expression lasted just a moment before the mask of seriousness slipped back in.

"I ask that you pardon my behavior." She blinked slowly and her eyes found his again, but this time, he couldn't tell what she was thinking. "I will go back to my quarters now. You can do as you wish."

"Yes, yes," Hubert babbled, but he wasn't sure what he was even saying, the heat spread across his entire body. Was he blushing? Even in the low light, could she see it? What was he agreeing with? "I will go to sleep soon, as you asked."

For a moment, they found no words, staring at each other and Hubert was almost sure that she was as surprised with what she had done as he was.

"Very well. Thank you, Hubert."

With those last words, she stepped away, leaving Hubert dazed, frozen in time. The only thing that assured him that she was gone was the noise of the door closing. 

* * *

_ Idiot. _

He shouldn't have approached her first. Hubert knew that yet he did. What had that accomplished? Nothing but more discomfort as his body had been so responsive to her smallest of touches, every little thing just overwhelming his senses. He grunted. She had done nothing to draw such reaction. 

It wasn't like she invited him to her bed. Edelgard had just touched him, but when he had stayed for so long without caresses, without touch, the rigor mortis of his frozen flesh that she had set ablaze–

Well. He supposed he couldn't blame his solitude for it, the gruesome fate of the gargoyle struggling in human skin. 

He shifted in place, noticing that he was still half-hard. And sleep wouldn't come, no matter how much he struggled. Perhaps especially because he was struggling so much.

Still, there was one option left. Hubert sneered. He couldn't. He couldn't do it, he couldn't bring himself to do it, it was unthinkable and still he considered the possibility. How much easier it all would be if all he felt towards her was lust. Then he would relish in the memories she had provided him, take his cock and fuck his hand as if he was fucking her, the crude and filthy word so fitting for a crude and filthy man like him.

But he could not, not like that. What he felt wasn't quite lust, wasn't quite loyalty, wasn't quite reverence. Whatever it was, he couldn't name it but he also knew it would never allow him to be so base in her name. 

If he could not be so animalistic, perhaps he could do something else.

The thought sprouted in his mind fully formed and, as his resolve wavered, it seemed like a good enough idea. Shame came with it indeed, but desperate times demanded desperate measures and Hubert was growing quite desperate indeed.

Quiet, as if the mere rustle of clothes would break him, Hubert kicked the sheets off and took off his shirt. The cold air of the night was the first thing he felt and he let out a sigh. Very well.

His head leaned back in the pillow as he caressed his chest. At least he could imagine it wasn't his touch but hers. Her hands were much smaller than his and her skin was calloused and marred with scars, unlike the hands of a mage he had. But, still, in his imagination, he could think of her skin touching him. 

If he was a decent man, then maybe he wouldn't think about her that way, but if the blasphemy was going to haunt him, then he would earn the sin.

As his hand wandered, he couldn't help but think if she would like him. The thought almost made him laugh. He had always been on the scrawny side, even after the Officers' Academy and the years of war. He had gained some muscle, yes, but it was a pathetic growth compared to the likes of their companions.

Even still, for the purposes he had, Hubert could fantasize for a little while that she would like his body.

Sighing, he continued this quiet exploration of his own body. With a hint of detachment, Hubert noticed how long it had passed since he had given himself such attention. Stroking skin, exploring the secrets that his body hid even from him.

A finger brushed in his nipple and he let out a small sigh. Almost curious, he continued caressing. Tender, to start. It was a sensitive pleasure, less overwhelming than between his legs, but warm and responsive all the same. He couldn't help but imagine Edelgard's mouth there, perhaps not as gentle as he was. That was no problem. She could leave all sorts of pleasure bruises and love bites all over his body if she wished to.

She would just be taking what was rightfully hers.

The very thought sent a shiver up his spine and he couldn't help but trail his hand down until his lower stomach. Even if his mind couldn't decide if what he was doing was profane or divine, his body cared for none of it, the heat rising, his abdomen tensing in anticipation. 

He traced his hipbone with a thumb, teasing and exploring in ways that he normally wouldn't allow himself to, but that he could imagine Edelgard doing. How strange it was, to feel the anticipation building. Hooking his thumbs in the waistband of his trousers, he pulled it down, quiet as if the noise would take him from his fantasy. 

He sighed, leaning back once more. As he continued his fantasy, Hubert couldn't help but question himself. Would she like him? The doubt almost made him laugh. It was his idyllic, foolish fantasy. He could imagine her liking him if nothing else. 

He brushed his fingertips along the contours. With patience he had never had for such matter, he merely stroked along, every touch enough to send sparks sizzling all the way down to his toes. Treading new territory, he gently squeezed his balls, finding himself tight already. 

He could feel the tingling, the tightness between his legs but still forced himself to be slow. Perhaps it was the almost climax he had before, perhaps it was the mental image of Edelgard doing those things to him, but regardless, Hubert found himself so sensitive in ways he normally wasn't. Or at least he had never tried to be.

He gulped hard, shutting his eyes, letting the sinful image take him. Who cared? He could at least fantasize by himself and forget it by the morning. He gripped the base of his cock, letting out a hiss. As he slid his fist along the curve of his cock, the filthy word couldn't help but surface once more as he failed to conjure a mental image.

Did he wish to  _ fuck _ Edelgard? 

No, his mind denied it, he couldn't imagine that, he grimaced even thinking about it. But the pleasure built up as he stroked, twisting his wrist as to rub the sensitive skin of the tip of his cock. It was enough to make him realize something else.

He wanted to see her  _ fucking  _ him.

Oh, yes, the very image that it brought, of Edelgard riding him, raking her nails across his back, biting and marking and  _ taking– _

_ "Fuck–" _

The crude word – oh, but right there it felt so  _ right _ – was cut off by a gasp as his knees weakened, even his muscles tightened in response. He was close, his pace quickened. Dipped his free hand lower, just to squeeze his balls again, cruel, the slight pain soon followed by a rush of pleasure. He was dizzy, almost lightheaded, drunk in the intoxication of his own fantasies of her taking possession of him.

She already had the mage, the general, the minister, the protector, it was all hers. Edelgard just needed to touch him and the man would be hers as well.

A low moan escaped his lips, it was frenetic, it was animal and all that was left in his mind was the gnawing need for more. His movements didn't have any rhythm left, even his hips bucked up so he could just have more–

Hubert went still for a moment until, like a coiled spring being released, his mind dissolved in pleasure. Spilling all over his hand, his abdomen, even his chest as he leaned forward with a ragged moan. As the waves subsided, he sunk back on the pillow, stroking through the last of his release as his mind was still clouded, the mindless senseless realm of soft pleasure and drowsiness. 

However, it was like the last of the sun's warmth to Icarus as he fell and plummeted back to the ground. Hubert felt a cold sweat running down his back.

_ Fool, fool, fool, you disgrace, what did you just do? _

But what was done couldn't be undone and the very sight of his own fluids spilled all over him – he didn't remember when he had come so hard – was enough to make him cringe. He propped himself up with one elbow, almost in disbelief of what he had just done.

Hubert grimaced, but his years of quick thinking at least could grant him some relief. He needed a towel. 

His eyes darted back to the hand towel that he had near his drawer. Without thought, he extended his arm, picked it up and cleaned himself. If he thought too long about it, it would kill him. 

He winced. How could he be so idiotic, so desperate as to do  _ all of that  _ thinking about her? No one to witness his sin, but Hubert would know. It was carnal and it was pointless, but at least it was only a small fantasy that would be his dark pleasure. 

Only that. The delusions of a man that desired the touch of a woman. No more and no less.

As he deemed himself sufficiently clean, Hubert didn't hesitate to unleash his frustration at the poor strip of cloth, dark magic consuming it as he tightened his grip, burning in cold black flames. And, right there, the only trace left of the sin he had committed was the stale skunky smell of dark smoke, which would soon dispel as well. 

He pulled the sheets up, not even bothering to put his clothes back on. As if that would hide his shame. In the dark, there was no solace left for him, nothing to justify his actions, just Hubert and the memories that chased him like a cat playing with a mouse.

If only sleep would allow him a moment of rest, but, as if fate itself was smirking in irony, Hubert didn't manage to sleep until the first rays of sun invaded his window. 

**Author's Note:**

> I have zero regrets.  
> Kudos/Comments/Feedback are always appreciated!!!


End file.
